Fear

I am afraid of the unseen
The unheard creapy things
That find way to my soul
And distort its share of grace

I am afraid of nothing
The pain that runs unfelt
Till the day it cant run no more
And burst flood into your heart

I am afraid of this and that
Things you laugh about
So long as they silently find their way
into the hidden chambers of my heart

I am afraid of a traitor
That wrestle to transpire
From the very depth of my soul
Only to dehumanize my essence

I am afraid of a dream
That ceases to breath
and fade with the passing wind

The Confusion II: Apologies

what gift could suppress?
the depth of your presence in my life?
You shared with me
both wisdom and dreams

Look where i stand now
Intelligence has become an offense
to the dreams you gave me
and the beauty of your presence

I am not without emotions
for through broken perspectives
I can see the pain i caused
and the anguish in Heaven

Read like ancient masters
With a memory fluid
I conquered the barriers of learning
But where are the dreams?

I felt them slip through my fingers
in the mute pursuit of happiness
let my verses tell tales of my being

I wrote it all for my own conviction
So to be my own witness
When i account for my dreams

For the dreams that faintly cry
calling for a better world
calling for a better man

you taught me to write
with metaphors and figures
But look what it is now
a reflection of despair

my poetry is menace
nothing but an echo of despair
whether i write, what good has it been?
my lines are haunted by demons
could it be all for this?
how could it be?

The Confusion I: Confessions

I was born into the world
The world never in me
My soul kept pure
in the depth of my essence

like a hunger-stricken kid
my heart drifted away
on both both roses and thorns
my heart fell through the days

all i hungered for was love
but in the coldness of warmth
we tossed in a passionate lock
and i bid farewell to blindness

Though it was a summer day
my winter began
drop by drop, i could feel
the world dripping into me

Before i embraced an angel
there was God
just a moment in passion
and God was no more

How much could i hate?
laying down in pollution
defiled by countless encounters
yet i embraced the moments

glory to my unearned blindness
touched a friend
a smile, a hug,a cuddle
nothing was ever the same

She was just a girl
being a girl
and before she could tell
everything was altered, no longer the same

in my blindness
i saw no God, no man
A river that silently crawled
stood still in a flood of affection

I thought i could run
from the heart of my sins
until the day i became a traitor
a conspirator against my own heart

in a moment, defiled innocence
that was a flow of blood
until i could not say holiness
but fold like a disgraced angel

The same flow that blinded my conscience
Saw me die a bitter death
When i bred a renewed flow
gulping for salvation

peace, peace, where are you?
i have murdered my own sleep
found rest in diverged attention
but how can i not crave, peace

Have you seen a monster?
Made of your own image
is this the final destination?
calling my soul to eternal solitude

When a dream dies

When a dream dies
So does the hope for a future
Stuck out of depth
A heart beating tunes of tomorrow
But when that only dream dies
And wash away
So does the will to live
and walk another hour
in this journey of life

When a dream dies
So does the prospect of a good life
and the hands that lifted it

The color is purple

Your love blinded my soul
Saw me part ways with
with life-long comrades
in defense of an emotion deep
But now i am not too sure
Which color i see
In these eyes
In the eyes
That once radiated with love
Is it red? Or should i be going?
Maybe be green or blue
But not love